


Merry Christmas, Kid

by cinnabongene



Category: Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad & Related Fandoms
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, First Kiss, M/M, Marijuana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 00:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9048652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabongene/pseuds/cinnabongene
Summary: Saul and Jesse get a Christmas tree together. Fluff ensues.





	

Christmas lights on Albuquerque houses always looked slightly out of place to Saul. Back in Cicero, where a white Christmas was more than just a far-fetched dream, he could understand wanting to get into the spirit. But here, where people had cactuses in their yards right next to the giant inflatable snowmen, it just felt like they were trying a little too hard. Still, he admired the heavily decorated houses as he drove down the street, but he noticed one darkened gap in the festive brightness. Sure enough, it was this house that he pulled up in front of -- Pinkman’s house. 

He rang the doorbell and waited on the dark porch, rubbing his hands together to keep them warm in the cold night air. After a moment, the door opened, revealing Jesse and the strong smell of marijuana. “Sorry, yo. Didn’t expect you,” said Jesse, rubbing his eyes in a futile attempt to gain a firmer grasp of reality. 

“It’s alright, kid. Didn’t mean to bother you. Just thought I’d drop by and give you this.” Saul reached into the pocket of his blazer and pulled out an envelope filled with cash. 

“Oh, thanks,” said Jesse, taking it in his hands and thumbing through the bills. “I was gonna come by for that tomorrow morning.” 

“Eh, I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d spare you the trouble,” Saul shrugged, not wanting to tell Jesse he had actually been sent by Walt to keep an eye on him. “Besides, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve.” The lawyer poked his head in the doorway. The living room was still sparse as ever, and he doubted the rest of the house looked much different. 

“You wanna like, come in or something?” Jesse asked.

“Nah, I was just noticing the lack of festivity. No tree?” 

Jesse shrugged. “Nah, I mean. What’s the point, really? My parents won’t let me go to their house for Christmas, and everyone else I know’s got other shit going on. So I just kinda sit around here and…” He gestured vaguely back into the house, where Saul could see the bong still sitting on the table and the TV playing a commercial for HeadOn. 

“I know the feeling, kid,” said Saul, dropping his veneer just the tiniest margin. “My parents died years ago, and most of the people who’d want to spend Christmas with me are back in Illinois. My brother’s out here, but that’s a different story.”

Jesse furrowed his brow. After never hearing a peep about Saul’s personal life for all the time he’d know him, and suddenly getting that unloaded on him, he didn’t know where to begin. “Wait, why do you even care about Christmas? Aren’t you like, Jewish or something?” Jesse asked. 

Saul chuckled. “What? I never told you Saul Goodman’s not my real name?” 

Jesse looked at him like he’d just told him Walt’s not actually a chemist. 

Saul shook his head at himself. He really shouldn’t open up about himself like this, especially to a twentysomething meth cook who also happened to be his client. “You think you know a guy, eh? Well, I better get out of your hair. Not that you’ve got much left, anyway. Have a good one, kid.” 

“Yeah, uh, you too,” said Jesse, closing the door as Saul walked away. 

The lawyer sighed to himself as he got back into his Cadillac. What was it about Jesse that made him want to open himself up to genuine human connection like that? In back of his mind, he told himself he knew the answer. It was the kid’s blue eyes, lightly stubbled jaw, and his perfect mix of sensitivity and ruthlessness. It had been too long since Saul had slept with someone without paying for it, but he had to put those thoughts far out of his mind, at least about Jesse. The kid had to be almost twenty years his junior, and of course, a client. But still, it tore at Saul’s heart a little to think of Jesse sitting in that big, dark house all alone on Christmas. 

Saul pulled back into the strip mall parking lot. The spaces in front of his office were empty, except for Francesca’s. Inside, he could still see the blinking lights from the Christmas tree he’d had her set up in the lobby. He went all out with Christmas decorations at the office -- it’d be bad for business not to. But it just felt like more deceitful icing on the disingenuous cake he was serving up as his public image. In reality, he was just ready for it to all be over. 

 

The next afternoon, Saul sat on his couch, in his boxers and a t-shirt, eating limited edition peppermint ice cream straight from the container. There was no real use keeping the office open on Christmas Eve, so he’d finally taken the rare opportunity to relax. Still, a small part of him was always on edge, knowing that at any moment, Walt could call him with some legal catastrophe or unethical request, but his phone had stayed silent so far. Hopefully even the great Heisenberg was tied up with family obligations tonight. All Saul had to do was finish this ice cream and watch Jimmy Stewart teeter on the edge of a bridge in It’s A Wonderful Life. 

Yet, as much as he tried to forget, his mind kept wandering back to Jesse, and his eyes kept wandering to the empty spot in the corner of his own living room, where he would have put a Christmas tree if he’d had the time or motivation. Acting on impulse, he put down the ice cream and picked up his cell phone. It was never too late to do something stupid. 

“Hello?” Jesse slurred sleepily. 

Fuck, he’d clearly woken the kid. Just another sign this was a bad idea. “Hey, hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Nah, it’s cool, man. What’s up? Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, not at all. I’m not really calling in my official capacity, per se. This is probably crazy, but I was on my way to get a Christmas tree. You wanna come with?” 

“Uh… like for real?”

“Well, yeah.” 

“Uh…”

“Don’t worry about it, kid. Didn’t mean to disturb ya’. I’ll see you at the office sometime,” said Saul, reaching to end the call. 

“No, uh, I’ll go.” 

Saul put the phone back up to his ear. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I just need some time to get ready,” said Jesse. 

“Great. I’ll pick you up in half an hour?” 

“Sure. Thanks.” 

“Thank you, kid.” Saul hung up before he could embarrass himself any further. 

 

Jesse furrowed his brows and looked down at his phone. What the fuck had that been about? For the most part, Jesse trusted Saul, but part of him couldn’t shake the feeling he was about to be taken out into the mountains and iced. Best to let at least one person know where he was going. 

“yo saul goodman just invited me to go get a xmas tree w/ him”

Badger texted back after a few minutes. “gaaaaaaaay”

“dude im serious”

“me too. my friend said he saw him at a gay bar once”

“so what”

“u gonna go?”

“yeah”

“gaaaaaaaaay”

Jesse sighed and tossed his phone down on his bed, then dug through his drawers, trying to find something suitable. What the fuck do people wear to get a Christmas tree anyway? 

 

Saul rang Jesse’s doorbell forty minutes later. Best not to look too eager. Jesse appeared in the doorway, dressed in a thick, fleece-lined hoodie and a worn out pair of jeans. He looked tired, but not high this time, which Saul took as a good sign. “Hey, kid. You ready?” Saul asked. 

Jesse looked up and down the street suspiciously before leaning in close to Saul and lowering his voice. “Yo, is this like a cover for something, or are we actually doing this?” 

“What? Is it a crime for a guy to get into the Christmas spirit?” Saul asked. “You don’t gotta come if you don’t want to, but I just thought it might be a nice change from spending your days cooped up in a meth lab with ol’ Scarface.” 

“No, I’ll go. Just wanted to make sure I know what I’m getting myself into.” Jesse turned and locked the door behind him, then followed Saul down the walkway to his Cadillac. “So where are we going?” he asked as he got in. “Home Depot?”

Saul put on his best face of mock offence as he climbed into the driver’s seat. “Home Depot? Pinkman, you cut me to the quick. Hope you brought your saw, because we’re going to get a real Christmas tree.”

 

It was an hour later when they finally arrived at the Santa Fe National Forest. Jesse stepped out of the car and looked around, breathing in the fresh, mountain air. He’d forgotten what that smelled like. “So what? We’re just gonna cut down one of these giant fucking trees and no one’s gonna notice?” he asked. 

“I’m a lawyer, kid. I’ve got the permits for everything,” Saul assured him, pulling a saw out from the trunk. “There’s plenty of reasonably sized trees around here. We just need to find the one that suits your fancy.” 

Jesse shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Whatever, man. Let’s just find one already. I’m freezing my ass off out here.” 

 

“You really never came up here and did this with your family when you were a kid?” Saul asked as they trudged through the wilderness. 

Jesse shrugged. “I always thought it sounded kinda fun, but my parents didn’t really have the time. They just got some cheap fake-ass tree most years.” 

“That’s no fun,” said Saul. “You gotta smell that real tree smell, get mud on your boots and sap on your fingers!” 

Jesse shook his head and smiled in spite of himself. “Never took you for an outdoorsman type.” 

“I’m not usually, but I can be if I need to. Once, I hiked for five hours just trying to find some runaway clients of mine.” 

“Jesus, why the hell would you do that?” 

“Don’t let anyone say I’m not dedicated,” Saul replied. “Now, here. What do you think of this one?” He poked at the branch of a sturdy pine with the tip of his saw. 

Jesse looked it over for a few seconds. “I dunno, man. Not feeling it.”

“Why not? It’s the perfect height, great symmetry, no dead branches. This thing was made to be a Christmas tree!” 

Jesse shook his head. “That’s what’s wrong with it, man. It’s like, I dunno, it’s showing off. Like, yo, what makes you better than all the other trees, y’know? 

Saul couldn’t suppress the fond smile the spread across his face as he looked over at Jesse. 

“What?” the other man asked, defensively. 

“You are certainly something, Pinkman. Come on, let’s keep looking.” 

“Yo, what about this one?” Jesse asked after scanning through the foliage a bit more. He walked over to the tree he’d set his sights on. It was a few inches shorter than he was, sparse, scraggly, with more than its fair share of dead and uneven branches.

Saul made his way over to stand next to Jesse. “It’s got character,” he said. 

“You think it’s too messed up?” Jesse asked. 

Saul bowed his head in mock humility and passed the saw to Jesse as if handing over a legendary sword. “I defer to your expertise, Master Pinkman. It’s your tree after all.” 

Jesse took the blade from Saul, a spark in his eyes that wasn’t there before. “Alright, let’s cut this bitch.”

Saul stood behind Jesse and watched as he knelt down to get at the trunk of the little tree. He couldn’t help but admire the curve of Jesse’s ass in those jeans, or the way he knew his thinly muscled arms must be moving underneath his sweatshirt. And just the sheer power involved in cutting down a tree… shit, was he gonna get a lumberjack fetish now? 

Panting for breath, Jesse turned around to face Saul. “Hey, you gonna just stare at my ass all day, or are you gonna help me?” 

Blood rushed to Saul’s face, fearing for a moment that he’d been caught, that somehow Jesse had figured out his affection for him was more than strictly lawyer-to-client. But he played it cool, as he always managed to do. The kid was probably just pulling his leg and had no idea how close he’d hit to the truth. “Hey, if it falls on you, we could sue the U.S. Forest Service,” he said. Nonetheless, he stood next to Jesse and held up the top of the tree. 

Jesse rolled his eyes as he made the final cut. Saul slid it off the stump and stood it up next to him. It was short and sparse, but certainly more interesting to look at than most other Christmas trees he had seen. Saul smiled as he realized if Jesse had a tree doppleganger, this would be it. 

They hiked the tree back down the trail together. Jesse carried the bottom of it over his shoulder, and Saul followed close behind, holding up the top, hoping that Jesse wouldn’t make another wisecrack about him staring at his ass. Which he was definitely not doing. Not at all. 

“Alright, let’s tie her down,” said Saul once they got back to his car.

“Dude, aren’t you worried it’ll get all dirty and shit?” Jesse asked, suddenly feeling guilty that Saul had thought it necessary to let Jesse tie a tree to the roof of his white Caddy. Why couldn’t they have just gone to the Home Depot?

Saul dismissed Jesse’s worries with a wave of his hand. “Don’t sweat it, kid. I’ll just run it through Walt’s car wash. He lets me go through for free.” 

“Lucky,” Jesse muttered. 

 

Saul dropped his usually overly talkative persona on the drive home. Over the course of the day, Jesse had entered the social gray area Saul didn’t quite yet know how to cope with. He knew how to act around clients, and he knew how to act around his partners in crime. He knew how to act around prostitutes he’d pick up, and he knew what to say when finding someone to hook up with in a seedy bar. But since he’d adopted the persona of Saul Goodman, he’d never quite known what to say to make a genuine, human connection. And Jesse had seen through too many of his cracks already to go back. 

Luckily, his problem of how to keep up conversation was solved for him when he heard a soft snore from the passenger seat. Glancing over, he saw Jesse was sound asleep, the side of his head pressed against the window. It was one of the only times he’d ever seen the poor kid not be tensed up like a jack-in-the-box about to pop. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart that Jesse was wrapped up in this world with him. People like Walt and Saul were made for this, it fed something deep within them. People like Jesse, they were the ones being eaten up. 

When he finally pulled up in front of Jesse’s house again, he gave a weary sigh and rested a gentle hand on the kid’s shoulder. “Jesse, wake up. We’re home.” 

Jesse opened his eyes to the sight of Saul’s baby blues leaning over him and a warm pressure on his shoulder. He blinked a few times and looked down to see the lawyer’s hand there. He’d almost forgotten what a gentle touch was like. “Oh. Uh, sorry. Didn’t mean to pass out on ya’,” he said, rubbing at his eyes and stretching out his sore limbs. 

“Don’t worry about it. Looks like you needed the sleep,” Saul remarked. “Come on, let’s get this tree up before it gets dark.”

After nearly an hour of hassling with the old tree stand Jesse found in the basement, they finally had the tree set up in the corner of Jesse’s living room, right by the window. They stood together, admiring their handiwork for a moment before Saul realized, “You don’t have any ornaments, do you?” 

“Not really,” said Jesse. “I mean, I did make some for my mom. I was gonna give them to her, but then she told me I wasn’t invited to Christmas, so fuck that, y’know?” 

“You made them?” Saul asked, unable to shake the image of Jesse sitting at a table with glitter glue, macaroni, and pipe cleaners. 

“Yeah, I mean, they’re not much, but I tried. Wanna see ‘em?” 

“Yeah, let’s see ‘em,” said Saul. 

Jesse retreated upstairs and came back a minute later with a carefully wrapped box. He tore the paper off and opened the lid, revealing a dozen intricately carved wooden ornaments. 

“Holy shit,” Saul breathed. “You made these?” 

Jesse shrugged and looked down. “Yeah, I mean, they’re nothing special.” 

Saul reached in and took one out of the box, a little bird, perfectly smooth and polished. “Are you kidding me? These are amazing. You’ve really got something going for yourself here.”

“You think so?” 

Saul nodded. “Absolutely.” 

Jesse allowed himself a small smile as a warmth swelled up inside of him. “You can have one if you want.”

Saul closed his hand gently around the bird. “I’ll hang it on the tree in my office. Top branches so the kids don’t steal it. After that, it goes on my desk. Oh, speaking of that, I got something for you too. It’s nothing compared to these, but I think it might give your tree some character.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out something round wrapped up in paper towel. 

Jesse took it from him and unwrapped it. “Seriously? You actually had these made?” he laughed, looking at the ball ornament printed with Saul making his signature finger guns, his “Better Call Saul!” slogan, and his phone number printed below it. 

“Hey, you know I can’t pass up publicity.” 

Jesse took the tacky ornament and hung it front and center on the tree. “Thanks, man. Actually, I kinda like it.” 

“No one can resist the Goodman charm,” Saul smirked. And if he wasn’t mistaken, Pinkman actually blushed. 

Together, they hung the rest of Jesse’s handmade ornaments on the tree. Saul marveled at the care and skill that must have gone into these. If he didn’t think it’d ruin the mood, he’d tell the kid he’s in the wrong business. All too soon, the tree was decorated and darkness had fallen over Albuquerque. Saul was running out of reasons not to go home. 

“It’s getting pretty late,” Saul noted. “I should probably get out of your hair, huh? Can’t expect anyone to want to spend Christmas eve with their lawyer.” 

“You don’t have to go. I could, uh, order a pizza or something,” said Jesse, rubbing the back of his neck. “Unless you got things to do.” 

“For pizza, my schedule is always clear,” Saul grinned. 

 

“What were you gonna do if I hadn’t have called?” Saul asked, sinking his teeth into a slice of the greasy pie. 

Jesse shrugged with his mouth full. “I dunno. Probably watch shitty Christmas specials and get stoned.” 

Saul felt a buzz of excitement in his chest. Was he really about to open this door? Well, what the hell did he have to lose? He deserved to let loose once in awhile; it was Christmas for chrissake. “Any chance you still want to do that?” 

Jesse looked over at him with furrowed brows, as if trying to decipher a secret code. “You wanna smoke pot? With me?” 

“What? You think old Saul’s not cool enough for that?”

“Nah, man. It’s just… you’re a lawyer.” 

“Hey, if you don’t want to share your stash, I get it,” said Saul, holding his hands up in surrender. “Where are you going?”

“Getting you weed. Jesus,” said Jesse, pushing himself up off the couch to retrieve his bong. 

 

20 minutes later...

“We should have ordered two pizzas…” said Jesse, staring at the empty box through a haze. 

“Jesus,” said Saul, struggling just to reposition himself on the couch. “You kids smoke some strong shit nowadays. Not like back when I was your age. How long does this stuff last?”

“I dunno. Few hours, ‘specially if your tolerance is down,” said Jesse, taking another hit. 

Saul looked down at his watch. “Shit, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to drive tonight.” 

“You could crash here if you want. But then you’d be waking up on my couch on Christmas, and you probably got shit to do. Fuck, I’m sorry, man,” said Jesse, looking up at Saul with the most genuine sorrow he’d ever seen. 

Saul put his hand on Jesse’s shoulder. “Jesse, I assure you, I have absolutely no plans for tomorrow. Waking up on your couch… that would be an improvement.” 

“It’s a pretty comfy couch, yo. Sometimes I don’t feel like walking upstairs so I just crash out here. It’s nice.” 

“It is pretty nice,” said Saul, allowing himself to slump down into the cushions. Feeling like nothing could go wrong in this comfortable haze, he rested his head against Jesse’s upper arm. If Jesse thought it was weird, he could just claim he didn’t remember it in the morning. 

Thankfully, Jesse said nothing, and settled in against Saul as well, content to watch the animated shapes and colors move on the TV screen in front of him for a moment. Then, “Yo, has anyone ever told you you’re like super comfy?” 

“You’re pretty comfy yourself, kid,” replied Saul. 

“Hey, thanks for today,” said Jesse after a moment. “That was like, the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I don’t usually feel like people give a shit about me, y’know? But, I dunno, today I just kinda felt like you actually cared.” 

“Glad to be of service,” said Saul. “And for the record, I do care. More than I probably should.” 

Jesse let the statement hang in the air for a while. “It’s getting kinda cold,” he finally said.

Saul wrapped his arm around Jesse’s slight form and pressed him into his side. “Better?” 

“Yeah.” Tentatively, he reached his hand out and put it on top of Saul’s. Saul reached up and interlaced their fingers. Well, there was no misreading that. Jesse allowed himself to relax into the comfortable embrace, but his heart was still pounding steadily in his chest. “Saul?” he asked, looking up. 

Saul turned his head to face Jesse straight on. “Yeah, kid?” 

With that, Jesse took the opportunity to close the few inches between them and press his lips against Saul’s, then quickly looked down as his face turned red. “Sorry. Just wanted to see what that was like.”

“What’s the verdict?” Saul asked. 

“I wouldn’t mind doing it again.” 

That was all Saul needed to hear to press their lips together once more. This time, he moved his lips gently against Jesse’s, taking in the sensation of finally being able to act on his bottled-up desires as everything else melted away around him. Jesse wrapped his arms loosely around Saul’s torso, feeling the warmth radiating off of him and leaning into it. Saul brought his hand up and cupped the back of Jesse’s neck, feeling the soft shorn hairs that grew there. He let out a shaky sigh as their lips parted. “Jesus, kid. You’ll be the death of me,” he breathed. 

The two of them settled in together, lying facing each other on the couch. Saul had one arm wrapped around Jesse’s shoulders, and Jesse had one leg hitched up over Saul’s hip. They kissed languidly as they ran their hands over each other’s bodies, savoring every second, both giving each other exactly what they’d needed. 

“Merry Christmas, Saul,” Jesse murmured, breaking away from a kiss. 

Saul smiled back, the phrase filling him with something other than empty dread for the first time in years. “Merry Christmas, kid.”


End file.
